Nothing.

“Reality will break your heart

Survival will not be the hardest part

It’s keeping all your hopes alive

All the rest of you has died

So let it break your heart.”

The lyrics really hit me when I heard it.

I know that all of the people in their life might face all of the hated and unlucky events. And what we gotta do to face it all is just let it be, let pass and let it go. But it’s not as easy as what It sounds.

I’ve been mentally and physically abused by someone. It just, very remarkable to myself of what he did. Until now that I’m still trying and learning how to open up with someone, how to be part of their life, how they’re going to fill my life, again.

It’s so hard.

I’m out of words.

But I accept all of the grief he gave me, all of the wounds he left in my heart. If I don’t accept it, it always haunted me everytime like a ghost. It’s really painful. Even after all these years, everytime I write this, I cry.

I let myself break,

By his words

By his actions

By everything he did to me. I let it break.

You know what it’s like to be a new part of me now? I feel numb.

In several part of my life, I didn’t feel happy or sad anymore If I let someone new came to mylife. I just don’t know why. I don't know how to react anymore. It just hurt so bad.